I'm Hungry =(

I realize that I forgot how to be alone. I try to imagine what I did in a lonely weekend 5 years ago, but I can't get even a glimpse. I fail to remember how I went out to buy my food at night and how I managed to go anywhere at my will. Suddenly I have become a dependent girl. Although I know how to get my ass out from this place, I still don't have the minimum amount of courage to do it. They say, once you have the commitment, you will slowly forget how to live without it. After 5 years, you will totally forget how to deal your life without it. It takes a second to remember everything about it, but it might take forever to forget all of it. My point is, I have forgotten how to be alone. I feel uneasy to walk alone on the streets even when I'm so hungry. I get panic when I have to carry a big luggage alone to the airport. I feel lazy to go out when I know there is no one waiting for me outside. I hate this kind of me. I've lost myself too soon without even expecting it. This pathetic me is hateful.