I'm very afraid that I hurt them again...

This time I wanna talk about myself. For the first time in my life, I am very afraid to go home. It's not that I don't like to go home. I really miss Malaysia..sooooo much! When I think about going home, there'll be absolutely more fun and entertainment than staying in Germany. But I can't keep myself from thinking and imagining bad things that might happen. I don't wanna hurt them and I'll try not to hurt them. But I can't stand it when I'm the one who always hurts. Like an apple hanging from a tree, I picked the ripest one but still got the seed. No matter how best I try, still can't satisfy everyone and myself. What should I do? Ignore my feeling and pretend to be a happy all the time? I am shivering...Afraid to go home because I have a hunch that everything might not turn up to be so well. I wish that they could understand me. Let me have at least 20% of my lifetime with him. After they have all my 20 years. I'm begging and praying...with no proof that anyone could hear.

1 comment:

feemitidee said...

Babe, like I said the other day, the problem occured because they don't know what's in your mind & you have no idea what's in theirs either. So, let them know. Make them understand. Talk to them in a very grown-up manner. It's not going to be easy, that's for sure but it can't be that hard too. Its a risk worth-taking babe. Just give it a shot. There's really nothing to lose. InsyaAllah, they'll eventually understand. So, keep trying & praying!