Bila bulan bicara...panjang pulak ceritanya.

Dah lama rasanya aku tak buat entry bahasa kebangsaan. Dalam kekusyukan sembahyang Isyak tadi, syaitan laknat membuatkan fikiran aku melayang seketika. Ketika aku melayang ke dunia antara pintu syurga dan pintu neraka itu, terdetik satu soalan di hatiku. Apakah perkara paling menyedihkan pernah berlaku dalam hidupku? Tak sempat syaitan menggoda aku untuk memberi jawapan yang panjang berjela untuk soalan itu, hidayah Allah datang dan aku kembali mengadap-Nya.

Jadi selepas berdoa penuh rendah diri dan menyangkut telekung, aku segera mencapai kembali kacamataku dan membuka tab public diary ini. Sesungguhnya aku ingin menyambung persoalan yang baru 10 minit terbuku di otak bekuku. Ingin aku ceritakan di sini segala kisah duka yang aku lalui.

Tapi, pada minit ke 11 aku rasakan yg sepertimana tiada keperluan untuk aku membuka tudung saji di atas meja pada siang bulan Ramadhan, maka tiada keperluan lah juga untuk aku mengarang cerita sedih di sini. Cuma apa yg ingin aku suarakan, aku kini agak perasan yg aku sudah menjadi semakin matang setelah melalui pelbagai ranjau kehidupan. Termasuk menonton drama Cina dan Jepun sepanjang hari. Sesetengah pihak mungkin mempertikaikan hal ini kerana beranggapan bahawa ianya membuang masa semata. Namun sebenarnya ada nilai murni dan pengajaran yg dapat ku serap. Ini adalah fakta.

ps: camna wei komsas aku? berguru kepalang ajar atau bunga kembang tak jadi? haha..

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I think it's better for me to combine two different things in a single entry. Just now I kept thinking about miseries in life (miseries la sangat). Right now, I have this energetic feeling and therefore start writing in a very very good mood.

I am so impatient to have a new stage in life. After re-reading my friend's post about delivering a baby and comments, I think I am eager to be a wife and a mother. I know that the responsibilities are quite challenging. But seems now I have already be somebody's other part, I am at least 80% sure that I am ready to tie a knot with him officially. Don't get me wrong. It's not about that sexual attraction or what so ever.

Now both of us has started seriously planning about our future. We have a target that we must by hook or by crook accomplish the mission end of this year. I am turning 23 next year. Does anyone might have a clue why am I not suppose to worry about life? Seeing old friends walk around the job streets and some might already start their own business, I personally think that I don't have a specific duration just to enjoy myself before married. If I still have to consider that, I would most probably have the blessing time with him as a soulmate.

It's true that how long we have been together is not something that can secure our relationship. Anything can happen. Another friend of mine tells me that currently she is stalking someone's FB to know who did he coupled with and why they broke up after 3 years. It strikes me right away since I finally notice that years are just numbers. Although it is a thing that we can be proud of too.

Yes, I know that you and I might have an intersection of idea here. For me, there's no need to spare time to have fun first before getting married. Marrying is not interpreted as giving birth ASAP or being a man's slave. But why not treating yourself with good time while waiting for the one? It's not a contradictory statement. I think my dear readers are all smart people to digest this line. Once again, I know that this issue is a big thing. Getting involved with the wrong person is of course an unfortunate story of life.

But how long will you keep your faith on the idea of preserving youth and living your life to the fullest before making that turning point? Actually we are having fun right now. And we will continue having fun even after this. At least I believe that I will. Do you?