Fantaghiro must become!

It's 3.03 a.m. in the morning. I can't sleep, so I wrote another post. But now, more to professionalism and rationalism. Eheh..

I once targeted a high goal in my life. But it was too high too achieve, not with my current ability. I am arrogant and somehow pride myself too much. I didn't look down to people but I was just too satisfy with my life. I have a mostly perfect soulmate, family and others who would always stay beside me. Later, I became lazy and lazier to move forward because I was already at a convenience state.

I mis looked my future and 100% tawakal to Him. I was not performing the best of me during the critical time. When I studied back my case, I realized that I already chosed to 50% give up on the very first day I stepped on that icy cold ground. Everyday when I opened my eyes, first thing in the morning I would come to regret of choosing the path. Panic attack and less confidence with what I did and who I was. What was/is wrong with my brain?

Now, I'm stranded back here in my so called messy-little-girl room. This little room has prisoned up all my emotions and I'm drowning in it. I half-pretend to be damn cool and people might mistake that I'm totally ok with it. People around won't keep their eyes away from me. Yes, they are watching and wondering why the hell am I here, when will I go back to the place I once belong. For now, I feel like I belong to this little room. Let me be a princess in my own room. Fairy tale doesn't really exist in reality and always happy endings only happen in fairy tales.

Before this, I doesn't really think about the consequences of my choice since I only choose to be what people always thought I should be. I end up choosing the wrong choice. It's my biggest mistake in life. The choice I've made really promise everyone a brightly shinning future. But if we go half way, it's miserable. I am now half baked, half full and half empty. But if I have the chance to turn back my sweet lolita time, I doubt that I will still choose the same path, but with 1000 times careful planning. I've met many gorgeous people on the way and I don't want to miss them in my journey. Most important is, I've met him there. That part, I will never want to escape.

Maybe this is my turning point. I need to become more mature and professional when handling things. Earlier I didn't handle things quite well since the fact that I'm a very warm-blooded creature on earth. But it's ok. Just trying to add some pepper here. It works! Haha...56 unique visitors suddenly, including the Google Image victims. It's fun. I need to cheer up myself right. Do I make someone misery? Hell yeah~